They are so happy to be parents, but they are exhausted and learning to adjust and cope with the ever demanding schedule of first time parenthood. The constant feedings, the crying, the diapers, and the endless stream of visitors and well wishers through the home.
It got me thinking, you know, no matter what people tell you about having your first child, NOTHING prepares you for that first few weeks or months. Friends and family can tell you that you won't sleep, you will be emotional wrecks, you will be exhausted but NOTHING prepares you for the reality.
The amount of strain and stress that a newborn puts on the parents is immense. That's no joke, you are taking care of a little being that is 100% dependent on you 100% of the time. The reward though is that first smile. That first recognition that you are mommy or you are daddy. The first few weeks feel like a thankless task. That the baby doesn't love you or care that you care so much about him/her. The reality is they are lost without you and they need you.
If your situation is anything like ours was, then as a husband/father you are watching your wife struggle with the reality that she is the primary food source for your child as well. She is responsible for all the feedings 24/7. The best possible thing you can do as the father is EVERYTHING else to make it easier. There is NOTHING you can do about your wife not sleeping through the night, but you can change all the diapers when you are home. You can handle the baths, you can clean the house, prepare the meals, and tell her everything will be fine when she cries.
Speaking of crying, there isn't much you can do about that either. You can do something nice she will cry, you can do something mean, she will cry, you can do nothing at all, she will cry. Until those hormones get back in check she will be an emotional rollercoaster. Be patient, be calm, and ride it out she needs you more then ever those first few months.
The importance of doing everything else for your child while your wife plays the part of feed machine is that you form an inseperable bond between father and child. That is something that will stick with you and your child forever.
The first few weeks feel like an eternity, between all night feedings, wet diapers every hour or two, spit-up, and visitors it really feels like baby-hell. But the amazing thing about time, regardless of how slow it is ticking past is that it keeps moving forward. One day you put the baby to bed at his/her normal bedtime, and wake up at 6 am and think, OH GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CHILD! You jump out of bed rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, run down the hallway, spring into their room, stick your head down in the crib only to hear the sweet sigh of your sleeping child. You pause for a second and then realize that you just got more sleep in one night than you have in the last week, you smile to yourself, and crawl back into bed with your wife, only to hear the cries of your child calling you back for breakfast.
For all my friends or readers who are first time parents, first time expecting parents, or someday wanna-be parents... The first few weeks/months will be a very trying time, stick with it. IT GETS BETTER. MUCH, MUCH, BETTER!
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