Up until Sunday I feel like we have always been one step ahead of Noah, whether it was making sure we baby proofed the house early, catching him before he falls, or helping him avoid serious injury. On Sunday I got to feel my first
oh sh*t!! moment as a parent. That sinking feeling, that pit in the stomach ache for your child that makes you feel like the worst parent in the world.
It started off like a normal day, Noah was up early we played, had breakfast and were otherwise having a great morning. Christine and I were getting ready for church she was back in the bedroom and I had Noah with me in the kitchen as I prepared a snack bowl with kix and cookies for our time in church. Normally we close all the doors in the house and just let him roam between the kitchen and our bedroom because he just likes to wander up and down the hallways and can't open the doors.
I heard him leave the magnets on the fridge and disappear behind me figuring he was walking down the hallway to our bedroom to find mommy. Moments past and I heard a crashing sound like boxes falling. I immediately dashed around the corner in the kitchen thinking he had gotten into the sliding doors on the hallway closet.
I saw the basement door was wide open...and my stomach sank. That sickening feeling overcame me...and I dashed to the top of the steps.
I saw my beautiful little boy red faced on his belly trying to get up to a crawling position and moving back towards the stairs I yelled for Christine and rushed to him. I saw he was moving (which was a plus), I scooped him up and began searching for signs of serious injury. He was crying hard and really shaken up. Mom came to us and he went to her and she spent a few minutes calming him down and assessing the damage. Fat lip, couple good welts on his forehead, and a scrape/bruise on his back.
We decided since he fell such a far distance that we should get him assessed by a physician just to make sure that everything was ok and there was no risk of brain swelling or concussion because he did hit his head. We packed him up in the car (already back to his cheery self) and headed out to Children's Hospital ER. The staff there was wonderful and very compassionate. I definitely felt like less of a sucky dad after talking to the Doctors and Nurses there.
After about 2 hours of observation and checking his ears and eyes and reactions. Making sure he was walking normally and not favoring anything. No signs of nausea/vomiting or unusual changes in his demeanor we were given the green light to go home. (Although they did find signs of his ear infection coming back so we get to go through another round of antibiotics).
We drove home and Noah dozed in the car, stopped at work and picked up the antibiotics and headed home. Noah woke up shortly before we got in the house and we went upstairs gave him a bath and played. It was like nothing happened to him he was just the same happy, delightful little boy. I was still having some internal conflict, beating myself up and really kind of feeling down. Like I should have done more, like I should have been there to protect him from himself. Eventually those feelingS subsided but even throughout the night last night I still couldn't stop thinking about it. I woke up around 3am and wandered down the hall to his room, fixed his blanket and tucked him back in. I probably stood there and listened to the quiet rhythm of his breathing for about 10 minutes before I smiled and went back to bed. That's when it set in that this was past him, it should be past me too. The only thing I can do now is learn from this, learn that you NEVER EVER EVER underestimate a 14 month old. Never assume that because he couldn't do something yesterday he can't do it today. Noah proved me VERY wrong yesterday, and just to test that theory I took him back to the basement door. He immediately reached up and turned the knob, although how he managed to get the door open so quietly remains to be seen...he must be a ninja.
My mom said something very poignant and touching this morning.
"Glad he is ok. Be sure to forgive yourself. It was an accident. Show yourself the same kindness you would extend to someone else who had the same situation occur." Truer words have never been spoken mom, thanks for the advice it means a lot. We are blessed that aside from some bruising and bumps our little boy is fine, this could have been much worse and we are very lucky.
While I must say that the new Children's Hospital in Pittsburgh is beautiful and a world class facility...I don't want to see it again...ever.
Thanks for reading.
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